The Real Nikki Heat

You Should Be Writing. You Should Be Writing. You Should Be Writing. You Should Be Writing.

The words danced across my laptop screen, scolding me for sitting in front of the X-Box, setting up ‘Just Dance’. I could scoff, and claim that I was using the dancing to get my creativity flowing, but let’s be honest, shall we? I was putting off the inevitable. Writing that final chapter, the one that would tear Jameson Rook and his vivacious vixen, Nikki Heat, apart. The final chapter of Broken Heat. The sad part being, Kate had no idea I was writing this book. To again be honest… Neither had I. It just flew through me after hearing her confess that she remembered every detail of her shooting. This book said everything; I could not bring myself to say to Kate. The premise was that like the issue with me and Kate. Heat got shot, and after Rook professed his undying love, she cried amnesia. He later hears her confess to knowing, and the ensuing confrontation spilled across 2 chapters, leading to this final one. I hit the mouse pad and sighed, as the title glared at me. ‘Always The Pawn.’ I knew what I needed to do, but I was hoping putting it off could drive away this sinking feeling in my heart. I knew it was stupid, but I felt like taking this step, breaking them up… It would be like Kate and I were done. Not that we were ever on. But still…

Sweating like a grease monkey 20 minutes later, having mastered ‘California Gurls’ on expert, Alexis came blitzing in, talking on her phone, tugging on her Morgue Scrubs. She looked at me, shook her head, blue eyes narrowed. She excused herself, hanging up the phone and planting her hands on her hips with a growl.

“Dad. You are supposed to be writing. Gina will kill you if you miss your deadline. Especially since you were supposed to surprise everyone with this one.”

I heaved a sigh, watching my daughter stand there. She was my perfect place in the chaos, and studying her, I felt my throat get tight. I stood and walked to her, pulling her into my arms and kissing her hair.

“I’ll get to work right now.”

Ignoring the weird look my daughter gave me, I set to work, throwing myself into it. I drew on the anger, pain, humiliation and despair as I let my fingers fly over the keyboard, nailing the casket closed. After 3 long hours, my last chapter spawned into 5 more, and I was shaking as I typed the last paragraph. This was the end of Nikki Heat.

‘Heat felt her heart shatter. Rook looked so broken, and defeated. The normally lively blue eyes were dark, no trace of his intoxicating smile on this drawn, weary face. The pain of her betrayal showed in his stance, and she moved forward, desperate to ease the agony in Rook’s heart. Her hand rose, gently grazing his cheek, tracing his jaw.

“Rook… Please. I was wrong, but you have to know I love you. I love you and I have from the start, Rook.”

Her blood ran cold as he pushed her hand away and he spoke in a quiet, sharp tone.

“If you loved me, and you heard me say what I did… You should have never lied. You lost whatever I was trying to save. You won’t be bothered by me anymore, Detective Heat.”

With that, Jameson turned and walked off, leaving in his wake, the broken Heat.’

$Note: I do not own Castle, or its affiliates. I’m just a fan. Summary: Short one shot. Castle and Beckett are getting serious and Kate can’t take the pressure.. Castle’s POV. Angsty, sad and just so very not like him. I felt sick to my stomach. I had been in failed relationships before, but even those never hurt like this. Kate had been the best thing in my life besides Alexis and Mother for the better part of five years now, and we had been dating for two of the five. It seemed I saw her more than I saw daylight lately, so to have her standing there, that steely, cold look on her face was killing me. I closed my eyes, swallowing hard as I fought to not look weak and broken before her. I couldn’t let her see what this was doing to me… I wouldn’t. The last time I felt like this was last year, when my daughter spent an hour sobbing in my lap after a phone call from her mother, convinced by the heartless bitch that she had caused our divorce, as well as the divorce from Gina. I looked to my hands, feeling a stab in my soul as I remembered Kate just four nights ago, in my lap, and drawing. She acted so different when we were home, away from the dangers of the world. I remembered her small hand holding mine in place as she used a sharpie to draw a small coffee cup in my palm. Her voice, so cold, and dead sounded, pulling me from my thoughts. My head snapped up and I had to close my eyes once more, to control the pain. “This whole thing was wrong. A mistake. And we both knew that, Castle. We both went into this knowing it could only end badly. And what’s more pressing… Did you REALLY think this would last? That I was some Princess and if we made it work, everything would vanish?” I drew in a painful breath, thinking carefully about the words I was about to say. “I know fairytales are not real, Kate. I was never one to think they were. Nor have I ever thought of you as a princess. All I know is… When I first saw you, I knew you were different. The best mystery ever written, a book that kept going, never ending with twists and turns. You keep me guessing, and on my toes, while still making the world seem simple for even a second while I look at you. I know kissing you sends the world spinning and makes my heart stop. We touch, even something as innocent as you grabbing my hands, and I melt. With you, even my past is gone, because it’s just us. I know you are the strongest woman I know, and that you have saved not only me, but helped my daughter see that not all maternal figures are flakey, cold witches. I love you, Katherine Beckett. I have loved you for five years, and I will love you until I stop breathing.” Kate blinked, and I saw it. Fear. Kate was scared. I had no idea of what, but that dull look in her eyes told me all I needed. This was not Beckett talking. Something scared her, and she felt the best thing to do was walk away… And I couldn’t let her. I waited too damn long to make her mine, and to feel so whole again… I couldn’t let my other half walk out of my life. I knew that face, knew the motivation behind it. And I also knew I had to let the game play out before I made my final move. Formulating my plan, I watched her pace. She let out a soft gasp, and I saw what feared the most on her cheeks… And seeing her tears forced mine out. I kept a solemn face, not stopping the fear, anger, sadness and defeat flowing from my eyes. Her cheeks were stained with her pain and makeup, and as she wiped her eyes, Kate headed to the door, gasping for air. I felt as though the air had been sucked from my lungs, and there was something not allowing more in. I knew I wanted to be strong… I needed to be… But I couldn’t. I lost the façade I had worked so hard on over the years, my unchanging expression breaking as my face crumbled, and my voice cracked. I stumbled like a man who had been shot after her, trying to calm my tears before calling out. “Please… Kate, I’m begging you. Don’t leave. Stay here, stay with me. Katie…” My voice died in my throat, along with what was left of my aching heart as she spun on her heel, spitting words that hit me like acid. “We are OVER, Richard. Move on. Be a man, and move on.” I tried so hard to stay upright, but the pain was so consuming, so violent, that I fell to my knees, losing any will to fight. She knew those very words had been spoken to me each time a lover walked out, and that she was so much more… I could not bear it anymore. I allowed my fractured soul to shatter, its pieces mixing with my heart. The hot, heavy tears flowed faster thinking about how I would have to Alexis that Kate was gone. The shame of admitting to my mother that I had failed once again hit me like a freight train. With despair in my words, I whimpered after her retreating figure. “I’m sorry, Kate.”$

Note: I do not own Castle, or its affiliates. I’m just a fan.

Summary: Short one shot. Castle and Beckett are getting serious and Kate can’t take the pressure.. Castle’s POV. Angsty, sad and just so very not like him.

I felt sick to my stomach. I had been in failed relationships before, but even those never hurt like this. Kate had been the best thing in my life besides Alexis and Mother for the better part of five years now, and we had been dating for two of the five. It seemed I saw her more than I saw daylight lately, so to have her standing there, that steely, cold look on her face was killing me. I closed my eyes, swallowing hard as I fought to not look weak and broken before her. I couldn’t let her see what this was doing to me… I wouldn’t. The last time I felt like this was last year, when my daughter spent an hour sobbing in my lap after a phone call from her mother, convinced by the heartless bitch that she had caused our divorce, as well as the divorce from Gina. I looked to my hands, feeling a stab in my soul as I remembered Kate just four nights ago, in my lap, and drawing. She acted so different when we were home, away from the dangers of the world. I remembered her small hand holding mine in place as she used a sharpie to draw a small coffee cup in my palm. Her voice, so cold, and dead sounded, pulling me from my thoughts. My head snapped up and I had to close my eyes once more, to control the pain.

“This whole thing was wrong. A mistake. And we both knew that, Castle. We both went into this knowing it could only end badly. And what’s more pressing… Did you REALLY think this would last? That I was some Princess and if we made it work, everything would vanish?”

I drew in a painful breath, thinking carefully about the words I was about to say.

“I know fairytales are not real, Kate. I was never one to think they were. Nor have I ever thought of you as a princess. All I know is… When I first saw you, I knew you were different. The best mystery ever written, a book that kept going, never ending with twists and turns. You keep me guessing, and on my toes, while still making the world seem simple for even a second while I look at you. I know kissing you sends the world spinning and makes my heart stop. We touch, even something as innocent as you grabbing my hands, and I melt. With you, even my past is gone, because it’s just us. I know you are the strongest woman I know, and that you have saved not only me, but helped my daughter see that not all maternal figures are flakey, cold witches. I love you, Katherine Beckett. I have loved you for five years, and I will love you until I stop breathing.”

Kate blinked, and I saw it. Fear. Kate was scared. I had no idea of what, but that dull look in her eyes told me all I needed. This was not Beckett talking. Something scared her, and she felt the best thing to do was walk away… And I couldn’t let her. I waited too damn long to make her mine, and to feel so whole again… I couldn’t let my other half walk out of my life. I knew that face, knew the motivation behind it. And I also knew I had to let the game play out before I made my final move. Formulating my plan, I watched her pace. She let out a soft gasp, and I saw what feared the most on her cheeks… And seeing her tears forced mine out. I kept a solemn face, not stopping the fear, anger, sadness and defeat flowing from my eyes. Her cheeks were stained with her pain and makeup, and as she wiped her eyes, Kate headed to the door, gasping for air. I felt as though the air had been sucked from my lungs, and there was something not allowing more in. I knew I wanted to be strong… I needed to be… But I couldn’t. I lost the façade I had worked so hard on over the years, my unchanging expression breaking as my face crumbled, and my voice cracked. I stumbled like a man who had been shot after her, trying to calm my tears before calling out.

“Please… Kate, I’m begging you. Don’t leave. Stay here, stay with me. Katie…”

My voice died in my throat, along with what was left of my aching heart as she spun on her heel, spitting words that hit me like acid.

“We are OVER, Richard. Move on. Be a man, and move on.”

I tried so hard to stay upright, but the pain was so consuming, so violent, that I fell to my knees, losing any will to fight. She knew those very words had been spoken to me each time a lover walked out, and that she was so much more… I could not bear it anymore. I allowed my fractured soul to shatter, its pieces mixing with my heart. The hot, heavy tears flowed faster thinking about how I would have to Alexis that Kate was gone. The shame of admitting to my mother that I had failed once again hit me like a freight train. With despair in my words, I whimpered after her retreating figure.

“I’m sorry, Kate.”

The Real Nikki Heat

Why would someone check out a cold case file and a pending? It makes no sense.